It seems as if we will be ‘trying’ for our next child in less than 2 weeks.
(I know: people have a very different idea when they say they are ‘trying’ to have kids – images of
PIO shots and long catheters aren’t what they have in mind. LoL)
I started taking the estrogen the Dr. gave me to get my period started - but a few days later, I ‘felt’ like I was ovulating – the signs were all there. I stayed on the meds (b/c increased estrogen has same side effects) but, sure enough – 14 days later, I got my period. My own cycle basically “trumped” the medication. That’s actually reassuring b/c it means that my body was getting ready to cycle on its own. (I was very regular before I got pregnant.) So, if things continue normally, I’ll get my period again in 2 weeks.
We were going to wait until July, but decided do the FET with the June cycle instead. If it’s successful, it’s another month I’ll be home with a baby before going back to work. (I’m a teacher.) If it fails, then we can try again in July and still have a decent maternity leave next spring.
So, yeah – 2 weeks. It seems unreal. Last time, there were months of hopefulness, fertility testing, adoption meetings, paperwork, deciding on EA, waiting for embryos, lots of research, etc. This time it seems so simple. There is always the possibility of complications and delayed cycles and stuff like that. But, the whole thing feels so uneventful, compared to last time – so calm – lacking in anticipation. Maybe it’s because I know what to expect. Maybe it’s because I’m distracted by my 8 month old. Maybe it’s just b/c the whole process has lost its “new-ness.”
It’s crazy to think that I might be pregnant again this summer. A friend wants to borrow my maternity clothes – and I love to share – but I’m hoping to need them. As I think about closing out this school year, I have to prepare for how sick I could be in the fall. (The Hyperemesis is such a distant memory….) It’s just WEIRD. And unreal.
I’m still a bit nervous about starting again because I’m still nursing a bit. We’ve cut WAY back – and Leah is less interested in nursing, so that somewhat alleviates the guilt I feel about cutting her off – but she still nurses a few times a day.
I’ve done a ton of research – and I think the risk is very minimal. Like I said, FETs are so simple at my clinic – just estrogen and progesterone, which are naturally in the body anyway. Breastfeeding increases prolactin, which inhibits ovulation – but since I’m ovulating, I assume my levels have returned to normal. I’ve also read that prolactin inhibits implantation (an obvious problem) but further research revealed that it’s not the prolactin itself, but the resulting decrease in progesterone that causes implantation problems. And I’ll be taking progesterone. So, really – there is NO medical reason that I can’t or shouldn’t do an FET right now.
Does it sound like I’m convincing myself? I kinda am. On one hand, I feel like God has worked everything out for this to happen: from giving us the embryos to providing the finances, to my consult with the one doctor who is not deterred by breastfeeding to Leah weaning herself, etc. On the other hand, I’m afraid of being selfish and rushing things. I’m afraid of neglecting Leah or giving her less than my best.
As we head into this cycle in 2 weeks – I have a 98% peace about this timing. The other 2% - is it doubt? Or is it the Holy Spirit telling me to pause? Hmmm…..