Having my cake and eating it too!

I posted a little bit ago about our Indian embryos and the possibility of trying for our 2^nd child this summer.  Micah is completely excited about moving forward, but I was a bit hesitant.  I worry that we’ll have less attention to give to Leah and I’m afraid that she might be neglected once a new little one comes along.  But more than anything else, I am NOT ready to give up breastfeeding.  We’ve come through a bunch of hurdles in establishing breastfeeding, but I love it.  It still causes pain sometimes (like when I’m at work and my pump just won’t drain my breast and I get super engorged) but it’s so worth it to me.  I love how happy it makes Leah and how it calms her when she’s upset.  I love it when she is nursing and she looks up at me and flashes that sweet smile.  I was hoping to nurse for the first year, and I just can’t imagine weaning at this point.

            I knew that she would have to be weaned before beginning fertility treatments.  I kept saying “I’ll see how I feel about it this summer.”  She will be 9 months old – maybe she won’t want to nurse or I won’t love it – she’ll have teeth by then – lol!  But then I realized that I’d need to have a menstrual cycle or 2 before we could do an FET – and that doesn’t show signs of starting anytime soon.  I would have to wean her now in hope of getting my period regulated by this summer.  I definitely don’t want to do that.

            We had made an appt at the clinic for last week – just a consultation to re-establish ourselves as patients since it had been over a year since I was discharged.  We met with their new doctor and we really liked him.  He told us about our embryos (not great quality, by the way) and talked about how so much is changing in research, etc.  He asked when we wanted to get started and asked if I felt like we were ‘ready’ for a second pregnancy in terms of my body and in terms our life with a baby.  I admitted that I feel totally ready except that I didn’t want to give up on breastfeeding Leah.  Then he said these magic words:

            “You don’t need to be in a hurry to wean her.”

He said I did need to have at least 1 full cycle before attempting FET and he offered to help that along by putting me on a low dose bio-identical estrogen patch and some prometrium to get the ball rolling.  Neither of these meds would harm Leah if passed through breastmilk.  Basically, we’re going to induce my period so I can get ready for an FET this summer.

 This is really ‘having my cake and eating it too.’  I get to continue to nurse my daughter (for now) while attempting to give life to her little brother/sister.  I’m ecstatic!!!!  I don’t know if they will actually do the FET while I’m still nursing, but I have a few months to worry about that.  I’ve done a lot of reading on the topic, and will continue to do so.  I’ll follow Jesus’ advice to ‘let tomorrow worry about itself’ on that topic.  In the meantime, I’m just thrilled to be starting the process that could bring us our next child!  Woohoo!