After so many failures and losses, I have trouble believing that this pregnancy is for real. I'm waiting for something bad to happen, so I'm over analyzing every little thing. My progesterone level was only 20 last week (it was 40 earlier). 20 is still totally normal, the nurse wasn't even slightly concerned - but it freaked me out. And the gestational sac was smaller than it was with Leah - so of course I "researched" (i.e. read stuff online) and discovered that it's the bottom end of normal for this point. So - that means normal. But yet, I worry. Why am I such a worrywart? I don't want to be that person!
I don't know how I can even doubt my pregnancy with the awful morning sickness I've been having. With Leah, I got really sick; I could barely function, even with Zofran around the clock - up until week 17. I was in the ER twice (b/c I was trying to not take so much Zofran) due to severe dehydration b/c I couldn't keep water down. I was really hoping this pregnancy would be different. But... ... not so much.
I'm just barely 6 weeks now - and while I haven't thrown up, I'm nauseous ALL the time. I'm eating crackers every hour it seems b/c it keeps me from puking. I'm already unbuttoning my pants and looking forward to wearing maternity pants. I remember this from last time too. My pants pressing against my abdomen made me feel more nauseous.
But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am SO grateful to be pregnant. All this sickness just reminds me that there's a little life growing inside of me - and I'm so thankful for this miracle.
Here's a pic of our little one: (well, the sac the little one will grow in)
I have another ultrasound next week - hopefully we'll see the little heartbeat along with the fetal pole and yolk sac. And hopefully, I will be able to rest assured that God really is gifting us with a second miracle!