I'm pregnant!!!! I still can't quite believe it. After TTC for so long, and getting so many BFNs..... I can't quite believe that I'm actually pregnant. (Please forgive the delay in posting; there were some people IRL that had to be told before I could post on here.)
So, as you saw a few days ago - my first beta was a 52, meaning that I was pregnant. It was very early (8dp5dt) so I hadn't even bothered to take an HPT yet. I had a spotting/bleeding scare the night before the beta, with bright red blood. I was so sure that it was all over and I was losing the embryos. We called our parents and asked them to pray for us and the bleeding stopped. Let me tell you, that was a long, restless night!
Thursday morning, we drove the hour to the clinic, had the blood drawn and then went shopping, trying to distract us from the 2+ hour wait to hear our results. Just before noon, we drove to Chipotle (our favorite lunch spot in Syracuse) and had just pulled into the parking lot when Teah called. (She's our favorite nurse; she's not usually the one to make such phone calls, but she was excited to give us our news, so they let her call.) When she told us that the test was positive, we both sat there and cried. M had more faith than I did, but we were both incredibly grateful for a positive result. (Then I went home and POASed because I wanted to see what a positive actually looked like!)
We kept the news quiet for a few days (except for my post on here to clue all you EA ladies in). We drove to Rochester to meet my mom for dinner and gave her a picture frame that said "Grandkids are life's greatest blessing." In the frame, we had pics of the embryos, the ultrasound when they were transferred and the positive pregnancy test. It took her a while to catch on, but it was a priceless moment.
The next day, we celebrated my FIL and BIL's birthday. My in-laws have 10 grandchildren, and for each one, they have little wooden picture frame from the state fair with the kid's name and picture. 2 years ago, when M and I started TTCing, we bought one that said "baby" and have saved it all this time, as a way to announce our pregnancy. We put the pic of the embryos, along with a pic of the positive test, in that frame and gave it to dad as a birthday gift. Everyone watched him try to figure out what it was. Finally, M said "that little stick says that we're pregnant." That was a sweet moment too!
Even as we were announcing our pregnancy to our family, I was still hesitant to believe that I was actually pregnant, or that the pregnancy was going to last. (It was SO early.) Finally on Monday, I had a second beta, that should have quadrupled since it was 4 days later. It jumped from 52 to 378!!! So, now I'm confident that I'm really pregnant! Stuff could still go wrong, but I'm choosing not to focus on that. I need to have faith that God has good things in store for us. M is calling 2011 our 'year of blessing.' (The last year and a half has been really rough for us; infertility was just one part of our struggle.)
God promises that 'sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.' I think morning has arrived! My goal is to "be joyful always" throughout this next year. Already, this pregnancy hasn't been a picnic (we had a really bad progesterone shot the other day, leaving me with a limp) but I'm so grateful for God's blessings in our lives. I think I'm afraid to believe that God has good things for us. Oh, I know that God's will is always good, but it's not usually what I see as good at the moment. I know that God wants to bring Himself glory, and that He wants to grow me, and I willingly accepts the necessary trials as from His hand. I want God to be glorified in my life, even if it's hard at the moment. I easily believe that whatever we're going through will be Good, later. It's hard to believe that God has good things for us right now. But He does! I'm pregnant. We get to adopt our family AND I get to be pregnant. Thank you God!