It looks like we'll be moving forward much sooner than I thought. I figured we'd probably be looking at a January transfer cycle, at the earliest, but when we talked to the clinic last week, they were in favor of us starting right away. So now we're just waiting for my period to start - which should be tomorrow. Tomorrow!! Technically, we could start our cycle tomorrow. Wow - that's happening fast. (Not sure I wanted everyone in real life to know when my period is, lol.)
I don't think I've been this eager in nearly 2 years to see my period start. When it does, we'll call the office for an appointment in the next day or 2. (I have sub plans all ready for Monday, but if our appt ends up being Tuesday, I'll have to go write new plans. I don't like this unpredictability.) I'm very eager to have that appointment so I'll know what to expect in the coming months. I've read so many EA stories, and everyone's medication protocol is different. I'm eager to see what mine will be. I like to know stuff - see the big picture, plan ahead and be prepared. I'm a perfectionist. God is slowly pointing out the sin in my perfectionistic tendencies - in my need for control, I often fail to submit to God's control. Perhaps this is just another lesson in letting go.
On a different note, I'm a little hesitant about doing this all through the Christmas season. I was hoping for a relaxing, fun, happy Christmas season. Instead, I'm going to be amped up on fertility meds; from what I've been told, I'll be an emotional mess. And I'll be anxious about the whole process. (This is really my first fertility treatment; I'm so not looking forward to the actual procedure.) My mom and sister are coming to visit this year and we have a big celebration with M's family too. I don't want to ruin that time by being emotional and anxious.
But on the other hand, we're actually doing this! I'm so grateful for God's blessings. We know that He knows who are children will be and how He'll use them for the Kingdom. Perhaps (hopefully) these little almost-discarded frozen babies will be those children!