Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What? ...... Why now?

So, we got an interesting phone call yesterday – from Bethany
Christian Services.  Months ago, before we began our embryo adoption
journey, we met with a social worker from Bethany to begin the process
of adopting an infant.  At that time, our Bethany branch wasn’t taking
new applications for adoptive couples.  (They only keep ~ 50 families on
file b/c they place ~50 babies a year.)  She told us she would call when
we had openings – probably in about 8 months.  It was partly the
discouragement that we couldn’t even begin the adoption process for
another 8 months that led us to do more research and consider embryo
adoption.  We are convinced that EA is the path God has chosen for us to
walk down.
       But then, Bethany called yesterday.  Why yesterday?  The social
worker told us that they need more families willing to adopt bi-racial
children.  We are actually excited about the possibility of bi-racial
kids.  In fact, M was a bit disappointed that our embryos are fully
Caucasian.  We are planning on adopting internationally or trans-racial
domestic at some point in the future.  But why now?  What is God up to?
   I don’t get the timing.  If they called last month, we probably
would have pursued that instead of praying for embryos.  If they called
next month, we’d know whether this FET (embryo transfer) worked.  But
yesterday?  I can’t understand God’s timing.  And I don’t know
what to tell the social worker.  If we say “not now,” we’ll go
back to the bottom of the waiting list.  If we start that process,
there’s a chance we could be chosen to adopt a child while I’m
pregnant with another adopted child, or shortly thereafter.  Or the
embryos won’t stick and we’ll be glad we started the infant adoption
process.  Or… Or…. I just don’t get it.  Why is God opening this door
right now?
       Then there’s the money issue.  We used all of our savings for
the embryo adoption – we have no money to start an infant adoption.
Infant adoption will cost ~$25,000.  If EA works for us, it’ll be a
much more cost effective way to build a family.  Of course, the concept
of embryo adoption is really cool to us; we’re giving life (we hope)
to babies that would otherwise be thrown away.  With infant adoption,
there is always another couple wanting the child.  It seemed so clear to
us that God was leading us to down THIS road.  So, why now is the door
to infant adoption open?  I just don’t get it.  What is God doing?

1 comment:

  1. WOW! That is a lot to think about. Praying for you and your dh as you decide which route to take.