Sunday, November 7, 2010

Adoption Options

            We are sure that God has a family planned for us.  So, it may not be a ‘traditional’ family where our kids share our genes.  There is some sadness that we’ll never get to see what our genetic children would be like.  I try to let that be overshadowed by the excitement that God has something miraculous and special planned for our family.  In His great Wisdom and Providence, God had placed the desire to adopt children in each of our hearts long before we met.  I read a book in 5th grade about a family that adopted 12 tansracial children (in the 50’s – when that was totally taboo) and I’ve felt compelled to adopt internationally ever since.  M visited an orphanage while on a missions trip in college, and has wanted to adopt since then.  We were amazed to discover what we shared the same dreams of adoption.  We thought we’d have a few children naturally and then adopt internationally.

            Upon hearing our diagnosis, we began researching domestic adoption. (For the first couple of children, we wanted to have them as infants.)  We met with 2 separate agencies; we are on the waiting list for both.  There are so many couples wanting to adopt infants that both agencies have a list of people waiting to begin  the process.  We can’t even start a homestudy or prepare a profile until it’s our turn.  It turns out that there are ~20 couples waiting for every infant that’s placed for adoption.  So much for wanting to do a good thing!  We really thought we’d be making a difference in a child’s life by adopting them.  But really, there are so many other parents also waiting for them, they don’t need us.  Even with international adoption: while there is a great need, there is also a great wait.  China has thousands of girls in orphanages, but wait to adopt those girls is 4 years!
            I got rather discouraged.  I felt that since we couldn’t have our own kids, it’s because God wanted to use us to bless children who needed a home.  But with the waiting lists and the hoops to jump through, it seemed that there weren’t actually children who need a home.  While I know that’s not true, it definitely feels that way right now.

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