Waiting

We've done a lot of research.  We’ve found a few possible clinics that have donor programs.  Then we had an appointment with our own fertility doctor.  I was sure he was going to push for us to use donor sperm.  But he didn’t bat an eye when we said we wanted to give life to donated embryos.  He’s very new age-y – into meditation and acupuncture and eastern spirituality – he said that we should do whatever feels right for us.  They don’t have any embryos right now, but he just got a call from a woman considering donating her remaining embryos.  He has to call her back, but if she does decide to donate, those embryos would be ours.  He said often things ‘work themselves’ out like this.  In my worldview, that would translate into “in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose.”

            Could this really be happening?  If that woman donates her embryos, we could start our cycle soon, and I could be pregnant within the next few months!  It seems too good to be true.  I’m trying not to get my hopes too high, but it might be too late for that! 

So, now we’re waiting.  Waiting on God.  Waiting on the fertility clinic.  Waiting on the donor.  It’s hard to wait.  It actually felt better when I was reading adoption books and researching fertility clinics.  I was DOing something.  It felt productive because it would eventually lead to our child.  But now all I can do is wait.  I’m not so good at that.