Is it even possible to NOT hope?
We could possibly get some embryos donated to us in the next few weeks. Maybe. We called our clinic today to see if that other couple had decided to donate. The donor coordinator said she hadn't heard from them, but we should be sure to check the clinic's website on Wednesday. Apparently, a different couple HAS decided to donate - there are 25 embryos, frozen in groups of 5 and the donor profiles will be up wednesday - we can call her then. (I was under the impression that we are currently the only patients interested in donor embryos, but maybe there are more if she can't tell us anything until she posts the profile on wednesday; perhaps it's a first-come, first-served scenario. Which is weird to think about - we're talking about human life - potential babies, not Black Friday deals at Walmart.)
Anyway, I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up, but I think it's too late. I so want to be patient and wait for God to bring us the babies that He has chosen us to parent. I know that all good things are a gift from God, and I am trying so hard to wait for His plan. I don't want to rush into the first available option just because it's there. SO, how do I know what God's plan is? Do I 'adopt' these, if we can? (haven't even seen donor profiles yet....) Do I sit and wait for the other couple that our doctor told us about? (They have triplets from their IVF - it could be a while before they have time to do the paperwork.) Or do we go with the clinic in Virginia that has embryos readily available? (More $, way less convenient b/c of travel - but no waiting.)
So, I guess nothing's changed. I'm still just waiting. I'm afraid to hope that these new possibilities are, in fact, the children for us - but yet I can't help it. For now, I'm praying for wisdom and patience - and setting my alarm to check that website first thing wednesday morning!