Tuesday, February 19, 2013

This is NOT second best!!

Why do people assume that embryo adoption is less than God's best, divine plan?

     My husband's parents run a "healing room" - which is basically a consistent place/time that people can go seek prayer.  Sometimes it's helpful to have someone you may not know so well pray you you and your situation.  It's kind of a neat thing.  So we went for prayer last night - partly b/c our whole family has been sick - and partly to pray for our upcoming adopted embryo FET.
     So, we went and a small group of people prayed for us to beat this stupid cold/flu thing that's lingered.  Then we asked them to pray for our frozen babies and upcoming transfer.  They did - and it was mostly encouraging.  But the one guy then said "while it's great that they have this option, I'm sure what you really want is to be healed and produce a biological child, so let's pray for that."  Then they proceeded to pray that Micah's body would do what it's supposed to so he can father his own child.

    They really had the best of intentions, but I was rather annoyed.  First of all, Micah IS a father and Leah Rae IS his own child.  I don't think a dad could love his daughter more.  But more than that, I felt like they were saying that somehow our family is second best - this is not God's perfect healing.  Healing comes in lots of ways. In our case, we believe that Micah and I were designed perfectly to adopt embryos and give them a chance at life.  He has Klinefelters'; I am healthy and fertile.  We each had a heart for adoption before we were married.  And I believe that complete healing occurs when we reflect God's glory in a perfect way.  Our family IS perfect - and our adoptive story reflects the Christian's adoption into the family of God.  God has aligned the desires of our hearts to His perfect plan for us.  What further healing needs to take place?  To be honest, I'm not sure that I would even want a biological child at this point.  I'm so excited at what God's done to bring us little Leah and I can't wait to see what He does next.

  It just frustrates me when people can't see it from my perspective.  And I know that's self-centered.  But really, I want to shout from the rooftops - our family is not second best.  Embryo adoption IS God's best for us.  And it's most definitely God's best for my daughter and any siblings she might have.  Family is not all about the parents - it's also about the children that need parents: frozen or otherwise.  Adoption is not about the parents wanting a child - it's about the child needing a family.  Embryo adoption is no different.  It's about the kid's that we're giving life to and loving - not just about us.  THIS is God's best.


  1. Well put! However God decides to grow families, they are by His design! :)